So this past Monday C and I were in the midst of our daily routine and J called at a completely out of the ordinary time. He was calling to tell me that his company he has been with for several years had lost their biggest client and as a result they were making some big cuts and he was on his way home. This was a game changer. My first thoughts were how. are. we. going. to. survive?!?!? We already live pretty modestly. Sure, there are cutbacks we could make like not going to birthday parties or events or ever going out to eat, but we surely do not splurge on things. And then I remembered the nest from a few days before. And the quote above. And I remembered, after a couple of moments of fear and self pity, that God is still in control! He WILL provide for us no matter what. In fact I am faithful that this is a move that needed to happen, yet fear and complacency and willingness to settle for mediocrity for the sake of "security", were holding us back from pursuing this change for J.
So now we are holding on to the promises of provisions and the future. We know the perfect job is on its way for J and in the meantime we are enjoying each of these extra moments together as a family that are such a blessing. We are choosing to view it all as a blessing. That is one of the biggest life lessons I've learned- it is our choice whether we want to consider something a burden or a blessing, but in most everything, there are blessings, yet they be big or little.
Of course you are probably wondering, does this change anything for Julia? No, it doesn't, not even a little. In fact that was each of our first thoughts. I remembered my logical husband and thought for a minute that i hope he wasn't going to let that spreadsheet reverse our decisions :) Quite the contrary happened though, and soon after he got home he looked at me and said "This does not change anything with Julia". Phew, sigh of relief. If only this little girl (young woman!) knew how much she has changed our lives already.
I guess that's what we have both realized, is that not much that matters changes according to circumstances. Decisions made out of fear and circumstances are the ones we come to regret. However, entrusting our own little nest to the Lord who loves us more than anything is certainly more powerful than any circumstance and that is never changing.
I am so thankful that we have the family and friends that we do, those who prayed with us immediately and show us real faith by example. I remember a few years ago when my Mom found out she had breast cancer....it fills my heart and makes me so proud to know that my own Dad's response was "this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it". How amazing. That line isn't just for the beautiful sunny days where our nests are full and perfect- it is unchanging as well, just as true regardless of fear or circumstances; when our nests are in pieces on the ground, ready to be built.